Single Mom Life
Motherhood in itself has its challenges, but being a single mom has challenges all its own. The mental strain of being a single parent is what actually carries the most weight.
Am I doing enough? Do my children have enough? Am I teaching them the right lessons to make it through life?
Can I do this?
5 years, two boys, countless mistakes, and finally while teaching my 5 year old to ride his bike I had an epiphany….
To be honest, I’ve always dreaded the moment I had to teach my oldest to ride a bike without training wheels. There are certain things I always felt a man should teach him and that was always one of them.
The first few falls were discouraging; my son was convinced he just wasn’t big enough.
But with every fall followed a voice of encouragement to get back up and sure enough, progress was being made.
After 10 minutes he was able to pedal about 5ft without falling. 10 minutes later he was halfway down the block.
Next it was time to practice turning.
All of my neighbors successfully have dents in their garage doors, but after about 20 more minutes my son also learned to effectively keep balance while turning.
Within an hour, he was up and down the block showing off his new bike with the biggest smile of accomplishment tattooed across his face.
As I stood there watching my baby ride back and forth, my soul filled with pride. I was proud of him for learning to ride, and I was proud of myself for making it past another hurdle I feared I could not conquer.
Being a single mom is just like riding a bike. You must have patience, learn technique, and be willing to pay attention.
Balance is key when it comes to moving forward. An overall balance needs to be achieved between your body, the seat, handle bars, and pedals.
As a single mom, you need to find balance within your life.
I have certainly amazed myself quite a few times with some of my parenting achievements. But looking back I’ve only been able to achieve those things because I found balance within the situation.
You need balance between work and home; between fun days out and quiet days in. You need balance between daily obligations and monthly goals, and balance between the good and bad days. Most importantly you must remember that too much of any one thing will pull you solely in that direction.
Look The Direction You Intend To Go
If you look left, you will steer left. If you look right, you will steer right. If you look down you will eventually fall, but if you look ahead you will move forward.
You can’t change yesterday’s misfortunes or last week’s mistakes.
I spend more time than I’d like to admit dwelling on the fact that I have two children; boys at that, that are without their father. But by focusing on this I limit my own ability to support them the way they deserve to be supported.
Life will move forward with or without you. Your children will grow no matter the circumstances. Choose to be a part of the tomorrow. Looking forward is the only way you’ll move in that direction.
If you don’t believe in your ability to accomplish something, chances are you won’t.
It took two days to convince my son to at least try to ride his bike. He kept staring at his new bike giving me 101 reasons as to why this just wasn’t going to work.
10 minutes might not seem very long to make it 5 ft down the block, but think of how many times that kid probably fell in those 10 minutes. In that short amount of time he had a lot of reasons to be discouraged, but his persistence also gave him a lot of reasons to feel accomplished.
When my first son was born I didn’t believe in my ability to be a mom, but I knew I had to try. 5 years later I’m pretty proud of myself and of us. We have overcome many challenges and it gives me confidence to conquer the many we face ahead.
My kids and I are a team. Remembering that I can’t dictate the role their fathers have in their lives isn’t easy, but its reality.
Some days I want to quit. Every day I question what the next challenge will be and if I’ll be strong enough to overcome it.
But in all honesty, I know I will…… I’m a single mom, I have no other option.